Out of Left Field

Last night, just as my daughter fell asleep in my arms, I broke. I had a complete meltdown. No warning, no signs it was coming. It was like a truck of emotions hitting me.

In the following hour and a half, I would have another. I thought maybe writing would help, so I started one of the fics on my list. I wrote 3 sentences before I just couldn’t focus anymore. I took my meds, texted my husband, crawled into bed, and cried myself to sleep.

I nearly had a 3rd breakdown because all I wanted to do was eat, and drink. We have no alcohol in the house, and no junk food. I wound up making a pan of cookies that I ate 2 of. Didn’t even care for those.

When I came out to the living room to tell my son it was bedtime after getting my daughter to sleep, there was next to no signs of my breakdown.

This morning I went right to cleaning. I put the clean dishes away, loaded the dishwasher, started a load of laundry, and cleared off the counters. I tried to play some World of Warcraft, but just quit.

All I want to do is shower, and crawl back into bed. But, I can’t. Anakin has a doctor’s appointment this morning, and I have shit around the house that I need to do.

Here’s to another long day.



7 thoughts on “Out of Left Field”

  1. Sorry to hear you are going through a rough patch and the break downs. I feel your struggle, as I have suffered from meltdowns and completely shutting down myself. It really sucks and can make life harder to manage especially when you have obligations. Hope you get back to feeling better soon. Best wishes you get through today.


    1. Thanks, hun! It started off pretty rough, and got a bit stressful, but overall it’s improved. I’m more concerned about my son at the moment (massive ear infection and cellulitis), so that trumps crap that would bring me down. ❀

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You’re welcome! Glad to hear your day improve. So sorry to hear about your son being ill, that must be tough. Hope he feels better soon. All the best to you and your family. Oh and thanks for the follow back looking forward to keeping up with your blog. It’s always nice to meet new bloggers. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thanks. He’s acting like himself, but I’m still keeping a close eye on him. πŸ™‚ And thank you! You’re welcome. I need to start reading other people’s posts now that I got the main ones on mine XD

        Liked by 1 person

      3. That’s good he is still acting like himself. I don’t know much about cellulitis (I googled it though) but I know things like ear infections can make kids cranky and feel under the weather. So good that it isn’t taking it all out of him. And you’re welcome again! πŸ˜€ Yeah I remember when I started my blog it was so overwhelming, with trying to post my own stuff, read other blogs and learn how to still work the site. I still have a hard time keeping up with it sometimes and I am still learning features on wordpress. Lol

        Liked by 1 person

      4. It’s severe, apparently. My mom had it awhile back and wound up in the hospital for a week. I run this strictly for my mental health posts, a main blog that’s just random crap, and then a writing blog lol. I multitask too much haha

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Sorry to hear it’s severe, good thing you are keeping a good eye on him. Hopefully no hospital for him and it can be fixed. I also multi task too much. lol I might actually have to make another blog to get some organization. Right now it’s so random haha

        Liked by 1 person

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