Occasional anxiety is a normal part of life. You might feel anxious when faced with a problem at work, before taking a test, or making an important decision. But anxiety disorders involve more than temporary worry or fear. For a person with an anxiety disorder, the anxiety does not go away and can get worse over time. The feelings can interfere with daily activities such as job performance, school work, and relationships. There are several different types of anxiety disorders. Examples include generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and social anxiety disorder.— National Institute of Mental Health
While some people think of anxiety as an uneasy feeling in the pit of their stomach or the fear they feel when standing atop a high building, severe anxiety symptoms can be much worse and downright terrifying. Symptoms of severe anxiety can create the feeling of a heart attack or even make you feel like you’re dying.— Healthy Place
While this is likely the one that I’m most familiar with, it’s also the one that is hardest to describe. It effects every part of my being, and has robbed me of many life experiences, and holds me back from so much.
The therapist that leads my group therapy says it’s clever how my husband and I have worked around it. To me, it’s not. It’s not clever to be forced to plan things based on how many people will be somewhere. It simply feeds into my OCD tendencies.
Thursdays are shopping days. We do the same thing every Thursday- leave the house about 8, get gas and snacks, hit Walmart, Winn Dixie, then home.
Last Thursday I had group. I was torn. I wanted, and needed, to go to therapy. However, I nearly had a panic attack. THURSDAYS ARE SHOPPING DAYS! Was how my mind was screaming at me. The thought of doing anything different made me want to throw up.
We wound up doing shopping as we didn’t have enough gas for me to go, so I avoided a possible breakdown. If something is done on a certain day for so long, doing anything but will hit me hard. I hate it.
School orientation? Nope. Too busy. Concerts? Ha. Fat chance. I have two kids. Both of them are out going, fun loving individuals. It kills me that I can’t do some things with them because I am stuck with this shit. It’s not fair to them. They’ve done nothing to deserve this.
I made it to his school orientation last year, and wanted to bolt the entire time. I just wanted to get the fuck out of dodge.
I miss when I was younger. I didn’t have this problem.